All I Really Need to Know About Leadership I Learned at Home and Church

Guest blog post by Shirley Hershey Showalter, author of Blush: A Mennonite Girl Meets a Glittering World (Herald Press, 2013)

Train up a child in the way she should go, and when she is old,
she will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

I never went to kindergarten. Fairland Elementary School didn’t have one.

So I can’t say kindergarten taught me all I needed to know.

Nor did I ever take a course called “leadership” even though I would later be called to be a leader. People have asked me, after they read my memoir, Blush, which ends when I leave the family farm in 1966, how my childhood relates to my later life as a professor and college president.

What was clear to me as I wrote, and now again as I engage with readers, is that I learned a lot in childhood, whether or not I recognized wisdom around me at the time.

In fact, I learned many leadership lessons from these people:

BlushExtras033 (2)Melvin Lauver and his wife Mary led the Lititz Mennonite Church as a pastoral couple. Mary was not just a “helpmeet,” she had her own sphere as a speaker, and leader of activities for women and girls.

From these two people I learned:

  • The best way to lead is by creating a team of people with complementary gifts. Affirm those gifts and connect the people to each other.
  • Pay special attention to nature. Renew yourself in prayer, meditation, and walks.
  • While on walks, gather feathers, dry weeds, create works of art out of them. Use them to make notecards and then write personal notes, hundreds of them, every year. (I still have Mary Lauver’s thank you notes in my scrapbook.)
  • Make the love of Jesus the theme of your life, and let the Light of love shine from within in your relationship to God, each other, and the world.

I also learned about leadership from these people:

Blush10-1 (2)My siblings, Doris, Sue, Henry and Linda are standing. I’m seated. My parents Richard and Barbara Ann also seated on the right.

My family taught me even more basic rules of leadership:

  • Work hard. Always give a “baker’s dozen” when making a sale and more than you are paid when you work.
  • Tell the truth. (Daddy)
  • Tell stories. (Mother)
  • Spend a lot of time on Mother’s lap listening to her read. Then read to each other and read for your own pleasure and edification.
  • Share. Don’t hit. Fight fair and then make up. (Siblings)
  • Say you’re sorry when you hurt someone.
  • When one of you hurts, all of you help.
  • We will all die, like our sister Mary Louise died after 39 days. So make this life count!

I may not have gone to kindergarten, but I learned all the lessons Robert Fulghum, the author of All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten attributes to that setting –including this most important set of affirmations:

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.”


Where or from whom did you learn your most important lessons?

Shirley’s book Blush is available from the MennoMedia store here. Shirley posts regularly at her own blog, here.







How to do a book launch and not blush.

Today is a big day for Herald Press/MennoMedia and we are excited to get the word out to everyone as much as possible!

It is the official publication date for Blush: A Mennonite Girl Meets a Glittering World by Shirley Hershey Showalter. Finally.

IMG_8821Along the way there was a live-streamed online unveiling of the cover design (by Merrill Miller), discussing the long process of evaluating and redoing covers as author, publisher, and marketing come to agreement.

Backing up even further, Shirley went through a huge project of reading 100 memoirs and reviewing most of them at her blog, Yes, 100 memoirs. Some of them great, some of them not quite as great, I’m sure, but she did it to learn all she could about the memoir writing process and what was out there, even producing a small free booklet on “How to write a memoir.”

She then kind of went into hibernation, if you can do that in Brooklyn, N.Y., while taking a year to be Granny Nanny to her first grandchild, Owen. Many of us followed that blog too (now closed). She spent parts of her days taking care of the newborn and helping him discover first his fingers, then his family, then the big beautiful world out there.

Back in her newly adopted home of Harrisonburg, Va. (after a number of years in Goshen as president of Goshen College) and other places, she labored and stewed and produced draft after draft of Blush which had numerous names (like most books do) along the way.

She started exchanging ideas and plans almost weekly on Google Hangout with marketing director Ben Penner. She’s become a social media guru, tweeting through seminars, giving thoughtful and genuine comments on blogs everywhere, game for any promotion suggestion.
IMG_3117Ervin Stutzman and Shirley Showalter discuss their books in progress at the Mennonite Convention in Phoenix in July, picking up many pre-orders.

A small production crew of Wayne Gehman and Jerilyn Schrock put together a heartfelt and beautiful book trailer video.

An official launch party at—where else—her home church, Lititz Mennonite, Pennsylvania, in her childhood home community, is set for Thursday night September 19. Shirley and her husband Stuart, mother, friends, family and probably some people she’s never met are enroute as I write this. Shirley will also be making stops and appearances in Ohio and Indiana: see the current schedule here.

Staff had fun shipping out all those pre-orders this past Monday, (or at least posing for it)

IMG_8721and enjoying a coffee break with the busy author-marketer-speaker-book signer.

IMG_8765Endorsements from the likes of Bill Moyers and Parker Palmer are here. And lovely reviews have started coming in, too: from blogger Marion Roach Smith (with a chapter excerpt) and Melanie Springer Mock, and Jo-Ann Greene of the Lancaster, Pa. papers.

GoodReads is giving away 20 books and the entries are adding up. (You can enter too, here, closing Sept. 22.)

Books such as this that have potential to reach a market far beyond the Mennonite church receive a little more marketing attention from the publisher than some others, but truth be told, Shirley has done so much (with the help of her marketing–savvy daughter, Kate) to personally get the word out using almost every available form of media today (many of them free, beyond the price of your Internet connection). Shirley has personally given a 100+ effort.

Promoting one’s own book can be uncomfortable for many of us, especially Mennonites (see more on humility in an earlier Mennobytes blogpost by Blush editor Byron Rempel-Burkholder). We’re told not to brag or draw attention to ourselves. But selling a good book that draws attention to this faith group and ultimately God, Jesus, and a lot of good folks who try to follow the Christian path, is what this faith is all about–sharing it with others. No blushing. (You can order it here, through a local bookstore, or on Amazon.)

IMG_8700And P.S.: The real shipper of many of those pre-orders for Blush is here in the center, in a black top, between Shirley Showalter and publisher Russ Eanes: Beth Nealon. Others in back rows: Neal Weaver, IT, Melodie Davis, marketing/editorial, Jerilyn Schrock, marketing, and Merrill Miller, designer.

Melodie Davis, Mennobytes Blog coordinator

Bragging rights (and why Mennonites value humility)

By Byron Rempel-Burkholder

In my weekly phone conversations with my parents, it is almost routine for the conversation to include a little chuckle on the subject of pride. Whether we’re talking about our children getting on the dean’s honour roll, or my excitement about some high-profile endorsements for our upcoming new comic book, Radical Jesus—Dad will inevitably pose that old question that dominated his own upbringing: “Is this making you proud?” He asks it with a twinkle in his eye, because he understands the complicated relationship with pride that Mennonite Christians have had historically.

Mennonites value humility as a pillar of discipleship. You don’t put yourself forward; you serve others and deny yourself. You don’t brag about your achievements, and you even withhold lavish praise from others lest you feed a culture of pride. In some quarters, you don’t wear stylish clothes or jewelry, because that draws attention to yourself.

Dad and I both recognize that humility is a mixed bag. In excess, it can sabotage the self-esteem we all need for our well-being. Restraining our joy over an accomplishment—ours or someone else’s—can undermine gratitude. On the other end of the spectrum, everyone knows how a swelled head can mess up our spirituality and our social life. In the middle somewhere is a humble kind of pride that allows us to celebrate God-given gifts and achievements.

And so it is in our publishing work. As our books go into production, we send the manuscripts to well-known people to endorse. We excerpt the pithiest compliments from their statements and we emblazon them on the back covers, on our website, and in social media. We ask our authors to do the same—to talk and blog about their books, to sign books at launch events, and to gush about how good they are.

Shirley Showalter reads from her soon to be released memoir Blush while Ervin Stutzman looks on.

Shirley Showalter reads from her soon to be released memoir Blush while Ervin Stutzman looks on.

Call it godly bragging if you like—godly because we recognize that our books, curriculum, and periodicals, are ultimately gifts of God to the world, and they deserve to be talked about, praised, and even urged upon the world.

There was a time—just a couple of decades ago— when we didn’t need to do this as a church publisher. Loyal congregations and individuals would buy our products simply because we were their publisher and they trusted us to put out the resources they needed. The annual catalogue and a few simple display ads in church papers were about all we needed to get people buy the product. That was okay, and it fit nicely with the self-effacement we called humility.

Today, to survive, we have to be assertive in getting the word out to the world, including to our own churches. We highlight the good things about what we are publishing. In our promotions we become evangelists of a vision, a message, a gift: a biblical orientation of discipleship and service. We can actually be humble in our “bragging” because we’re carried along by something bigger than our own egos. I hope that’s what we’re doing.


Shirley Showalter’s soon-to-be released memoir, Blush, shows some of the healthy tension around humility. In her traditional “plain” Mennonite girlhood, Showalter had a desire to be “big” in a world beyond her small, culturally confined community. While she valued Mennonite teachings on humility, her sense of vocation in the glittering world beyond Lititz, Pennsylvania, drew her into a big world of service. Ultimately, it wasn’t self-inflation; it was a call. Shirley went on to become a professor, and eventually president of Goshen (Indiana) College and then a foundation executive with The Fetzer Institute in Michigan.

Blush is to be released on September 30, but the fanfare has been running for some time already. Months ago, Shirley hosted a party in her home to unveil the cover of the book. She keeps updating her vast Facebook network on the progress of the release, and announces launch events on her blog. Like our marketing department, she is getting the word out.

BlushCoverReveal_blogThere is something bigger happening here than mere publicity, though. Shirley has started an electronic network of folks who are also wanting to write their own memoirs, sharing what she has learned and encouraging others. She’ll be teaching a college class on memoir writing this fall. Like a number of our authors, she is donating royalties to a charity.

Shirley’s story is about her, but it’s also about community, and a way of life that celebrates and shares the stuff of our lives. That is what happens when our desire to be “big” is bound up with a larger vision.

Shirley enjoying a watermelon as a child.

Shirley enjoying a watermelon as a child.

I think that is also what the Apostle Paul was getting at in his own frequent reflections on “boasting.” He had much to brag about in his life—including his pedigree as a Pharisee, supernatural revelations, and a dramatic conversion. In 2 Corinthians 11 he does seem to wear his experiences on his sleeve. But he puts it all in perspective by saying: “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord” (2 Corinthians 10:17).

I hope that’s what’s going on when we promote our products. We take these gifts of stories, these blessings of a vigorous Anabaptist theology, and we broadcast them to the world—unabashedly, with confidence. And yet we do so humbly, knowing that these gifts are from God, meant to be shared.


Byron Rempel-Burkholder is a managing book editor for MennoMedia.